“It’s not about him. It’s about us.”
This is how author Catherine Hernandez introduces her latest book Behind You, a heavy but authentic story about a young girl navigating her youth, while her city is being terrorized by a serial killer. The story is loosely inspired by a real serial killer who terrorized the Toronto neighbourhood of Scarborough and the surrounding area in the late 80’s/early 90’s. It’s one of the most well-known Canadian crimes and a terrifying chapter in Canadian history. But he’s not who this story is about.
Behind You is about Alma, a queer Filipina woman who is an editor for a true crime series. When she learns that the latest episode she’ll be working on is about the Scarborough Stalker, she finds herself reflecting on her youth and reveals the trauma she experienced in her early teens when the Stalker gripped her neighbourhood. The novel alternates between past Alma, who lives with her strict mother and older sister, as she tries to understand her queer identity, fit in with her peers, and appears straight with her boyfriend, doing anything to please him. And present Alma, who is a successful editor, married and has a son, but struggles to help her son, who begins to act out when the relationship with his girlfriend begins to go south.
What’s so refreshing about Behind You is that the notorious perpetrator is not the centre of the story. His narrative is present in the background but it is not the focal point. Instead, his story acts as fuel for the reality of assault and abuse culture. In fact, much of the book highlights the commonality of how a lot of the responsibility falls on women to prevent these attacks from happening, and how they have to adjust their behaviour or be more vigilant. From taking self-defense classes to the threat of putting curfews in place, Hernandez nails every typical example (even the book cover has a picture of a hand with keys in between each finger, a common self-defense tactic). Alma’s lack of self-awareness and sheltered way of living makes her an easy target to some of this, impacting her greatly as a teen, with some of that trauma spilling into adulthood. Some of it is quite heartbreaking but it paints a picture of the reality that many have experienced. By the end though, in both past and present Alma, you find yourself rooting for her and wanting to see her live her life to the fullest, embrace who she is, and authentically be herself.
As heavy as some of these topics are, if you’re expecting crime and grit and a thriller, this isn’t that book. Instead, this is very much a coming-of-age story, and that despite its sadness, there is joy and light in the cracks. There are wholesome, beautiful, healthy relationships in this book, both platonic and romantic. The magic of Hernandez’s writing is she writes a lot from a sense of community, and at a time when victim-blaming is so present and common, she bolsters that community to new levels insuring that people are always in your corner, beside you, or have your back, behind you.